messed up at work monkey riding dog tweet

So you messed up at work. Don’t think about it to much. We all have our off days.

How you messed up doesn’t matter. Maybe you sent your recently bereaved client a picture of a monkey riding a dog, instead the order of the service for the funeral they’d requested? Maybe it helped! Death has no dominion where monkey dog jockeys are concerned.

Because however hard you might be cringing right now, you can rest assured that you could have messed up a lot worse. And we mean a lot…

FBI Officer Marries The ISIS Recruiter She’s Supposed To Be Investigating

Disgraced FBI agent Daniela Green (left) and her husband Denis Cuspert aka Deso Dog, rapper turned ISIS fighter

So maybe you messed up those invoices, but at least the State Department never had to get involved!

US citizen Daniela Greene left her husband and her job as an FBI interpreter, and ran away to a Syria where she wed German national Denis Cuspert. Cupsert – a one-time rapper who had performed under the name Deso Dog – had left the music industry for a life as a terrorist recruiter.

Greene told her American husband and her FBI bosses that she was going to visit her parents in Germany, but instead boarded a flight to Istanbul and arranged for smugglers to take her across the border, into Syria.

After only one month in ISIS controlled territory she realized just how badly she’d messed up and fled back to the US, where she handed herself over to authorities.

She was sentenced to two years in a federal jail for her actions, which former State Department official John Kirby described as “a stunning embarrassment for the FBI”.

Chief Of Police Gives Plane Hijacker A Ride To His Hotel

messed up at work martin mcnally
Chief of police helped baby-faced hijacker Martin McNally get into town after stealing and subsequently losing a cool half a million dollars

Back in the 1970s when plane hijacking was more ‘gentlemanly aerial piracy’, than terrorist atrocity 28-year-old Martin McNally came up with a quick way to make half a million dollars.

He boarded a flight at St. Louis’ Lambert Airport carrying a sawn-off shotgun, and as they passed over Tulsa, Ohio he slipped the stewardess a note explaining that he was hijacking the plane for ransom. Initially she slipped it back unopened, thinking it was his phone number, but once she realized he was hijacking the aircraft and not hitting on her, she became far more helpful.

McNally asked for $502,200, a parachute and a shovel with which he intended to bury the money, until he could recover it safely. Once he had secured the ransom he ordered the plane to take off once more, and used the parachute to bail out over Peru, Indiana.

Miraculously McNally survived his first ever parachute jump, although he lost the money midair when the cord he had used to secure it to his body snapped. The money was found in a farmer’s field the following day.

Bruised and bleeding from a head wound, McNally dusted himself and hitchhiked to the nearest town.

The good Samaritan who picked up the hijacker was none other than off-duty Peru police chief, Richard Blair and his wife, who were on their way back from a party. After checking McNally’s ID, the kindly police officer gave him a lift to a nearby motel where he laid low for several days while the FBI combed the local area.

Martin McNally was arrested a few weeks later outside his home in Michigan, and was given two life sentences. He was released in on parole 2011, at the age of 67.

Cook Makes Everyone Sick Because She Won’t Listen To Doctors

typhoid mary messed up at work
‘Typhoid Mary’ Mallon was a good cook, but messed up at work so bad she was kept in solitary confinement on a tiny island for much of her adult life

Mary Mallon was actually great at her job. An Irish immigrant to America in the late-nineteenth century, Mallon never had trouble finding employment as a cook for wealthy New York families.

Unfortunately wherever she worked people soon became dangerously ill with typhoid. Of the seven families she worked for fifty-one people became sick and at least three died, while Mary herself remained in excellent health.

Eventually one of her employers hired public health doctor and sanitation engineer George Soper to investigate the cause of the typhoid outbreak, and he was able to trace it back to Mary.

Through no fault of her own Mary Mallon was an asymptomatic carrier for the disease, meaning she shed bacteria without ever getting sick herself.

Where Mary messed up was in her refusal to listen to the doctor’s insistence that she find a different job. She continued to work as a cook and sent away the doctors who tried to explain the risk she posed to others. In the end she was arrested and kept forcibly quarantined for three years, until 1910.

After she was released public health authorities found her work as a laundress, but the work was poorly paid and so she changed her last name and went back to working in kitchens. For the next five years she changed jobs frequently, moving on to a new kitchen whenever she’d caused a typhoid outbreak in her previous one.

In 1915 she caused a major outbreak while working in the kitchens of the Sloane Hospital For Women, in which two people died. Public health authorities were able to trace her and she was kept in quarantine for the rest of her life.


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